I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
