Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
