I think I died a long time ago.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
