you mean i was at the winter classic?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
