I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
