Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
