Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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