no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
