YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
