this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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