after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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