My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
