I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
