Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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