Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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