So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
