I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
