I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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