Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
