i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
