break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
