Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
