Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
