I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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