Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize