i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
