Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
