Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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