the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
