none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
