I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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