Having a random hookup so left but love u
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
