weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
