Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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