i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
