god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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