you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
