we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he puts the penis in happiness.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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