Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
