YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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