I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
