ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
