worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
