I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
