5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
