billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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