All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
