My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
tequila makes me forget i have legs
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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