Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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