Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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