another moral hangover. fuck.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
