Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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